embrace
by heartstations
Summary: SR;— from a simple innocent hug, turned out to be much later—complicated more.


_Embrace_

_Summary_: From a simple innocent hug, turned out to be much later… complicated more.

_Notes_: I'm falling ill now to the point of spent day away doing nothing and heck sorry this turned out much worse than planned. –sneeze- I… just write this because my inner-mind told so lol. Oh and yes, there's a little bit spoiler in the end ;D Sorry for the uncreative ending, heck I never am good with them XD

_Disclaimer_: Neither is Vampire Knight nor the characters that mine. This is my personal… method to unleash my fangirlsm side you've never known.

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He did know what hug meant. In his own assumption, of course.

He had been living one decade or more so as a vampire even when he was the youngest; but there were always some things he would remember the most. Even when he was ignorant toward his surroundings, there was always appealing thing to pick up. And he found one to be treasured.

It was begun first time when her mother fetched him to one of her workplace. She secretly wished he would someday take the same job as she was, considering how their family bloodlines. Became a clueless boy he was at that time, he didn't complain nor concur to his mother one-sided wish, and so, he ended up watching her mother's performing with impassive but observant eyes.

One of her regulation as an elite actress was to behaving polite, collected, and warm—even when she was in no mood to do so. Thus, when she met with important person or she was just about to convey her gratitude, she did the thing that sparked up the young Shiki Senri' interest.

Hug.

He watched how his mother would deliver her utmost gratitude to meet this person and so forth. He contemplated during the time his mother was doing her job, and found no matched answer to his own question.

Why hug?

So he asked her mother instead. With restrained laughter within her throat, she answered that she had hugged her opponent to present her sheer gratitude that time. That, in actor world everything was gambled and there was nothing she could do about it. That, it had nothing to do with his father—even when she didn't like him that much. That, hug represented the closeness in between—between the actors itself and their supporters that followed in suit. That, there was no matcher choice but hug.

Head tilted sideways, he only could understand bits of his mother' words, and so, he asked his very own question that bugged him ever since.

"Can I hug that person when I want to deliver my thanks?"

As he asked it chastely, his mother smiled gently—in which was obvious understanding—at him, her hand crept its way to his hair top. She patted his head lovingly even though Senri didn't object to her touch, slate grey eyes still demanding answers

She answered the obvious answer with a yes. Let's say, it seemed as though there was no fitter answer for that question. Furthermore she thought, someday he would be just like her. A person that was famous with popularity. What better time to introduce it beside this time—today?

So, she answered him a yes without a doubt at all. Totally.

The notion sent the young Senri to a misconception. His mother did teach a blunder though, for she forgot that hug involved deeper and complicated feeling. After all, that was just being done to jacking up her career, wasn't it?

Whereby his beloved mother's short explanation, he planted a solid definition about hug into his very self. He caught that by means her mother said about presenting her gratitude, it really meant her mother just performed arms wrapped about her opponent' body as a reflex of her happiness. Thus perhaps, it might just a simple, meaningless act after all.

* * *

Few days later, Touya Rima, his blonde vampire friend who happened to be the child from his mother' close friend came to play with him. This was… probably her numerous times ever since she started to come over his house. And because of it he had grown to accept her as though her arrival was not something… surprising. He didn't know really, but he always felt secure and safe whenever she was nearby. And even though her stoic face and sometimes unpredictable wordings he never really foretold before, but he thought she was nice. To be added cute even, when she made that sour and sulking face, her eyes glimmered with annoyance yet she kept her mouth shut.

He wanted to say thanks to her, for always came over to his house and never let him suffering in boredom. He wanted to say thanks, even when all they played together was only wrestling their dolls to each other.

But sadly he never was good by words.

In that instant he remembered his mother's words and his question the previous days. _Could I hug that person when I wanted to deliver my thanks?_

_Of course you can._

Thus that early evening he waited for her eagerly. Usually she would come by the late evening and came used to the trait; he waited in his family living room—so that he could greet her as soon as she arrived. Legs swaying back and forth, he shunned the tedium away by doing the same again and again for quite some time until the door bell wrung.

There was a faint smile emerged upon his facial as he strolled faster yet casually to the door. Even with his small frame, he managed to pull open the door all by himself. As soon as Rima' jaded face flooded into the view, without much consideration, he almost pulled her into the house but Rima walked first just before he did.

Rima made fun of her doll whereas Senri just stared his plushie indifferently. He wanted so much to just execute his thought right away, but he kind of feeling that now was just not a right time. At least not yet. He glanced at her then back at his plushie in hand; each took approximately some long time before he switched right then and there.

He didn't do anything until he realized the time for bade farewell had eventually come. He was critically worried he wouldn't ever get the slightest chance to say it nor express it, so his face was rather crunched up. Rima, the sharp eyed girl she was, noticed it but kept words being held back. She just watched him carefully with eyes all dangerous and pricking.

Senri still didn't have any idea to figure out how to convey his intention even though he had thought about that for a long time, so when they faced across each other to just unceremoniously say, see you tomorrow, he had no words to say and just kept reticent. Rima nudged him to say something but he didn't comply. Hence with furrowed brows, she whipped around and grumbled something that surely unpleasant, getting impression as though Senri didn't care about her anymore.

That's when Senri grabbed her arm and stopped her in track. She turned to him curiously, and with a small voice, he forced a thank you from his mouth and enveloped her with his arms, exactly what he saw his mother did. Arms wrapped about the opponent body, keeping the proximity short and feeling the tiny gap that surprisingly warm.

That's what Senri did and felt at that time.

When he pulled away, Rima blinked her eyes twice before she asked the same clueless question he ever threw to his mother. And he answered nonchalantly that when they wanted to say thanks, they could hug the said person.

And amazingly she didn't protest, at all.

* * *

After the fiasco happened right away and guilty welled up within his chest, now what he could do to spend the time away was just staring at her sleeping face. He knew even if there was someone to be put in blame that must be him. What insane person to let his body being possessed by someone else, although that someone else was his own father? After all, his father was not someone he would be proud of.

And now mistake happened.

Rima was disabled by his father and he didn't have someone to be put in blame but him. He didn't do it but at the same time he did it. He was in fault but it's not either.

Watching her unconscious in front of his eyes made him felt his chest crowded. Even when he didn't recognize what that emotion might get labeled for, he still feeling sort of the feeling killed him slowly and agonizing to just sit along her side and there was nothing he could do to ease her pain.

Her chest was limp, there was this small rise and fall that accompanying every movement, the pulse even was discovered weak. He found his eyes patiently traced every millisecond of it and his body was closer than ever to hers. His breath was quickening to the point of tore his heart just fine and his hands were trembling for his own good.

Instinctively, he brought his hand close to her, clasped it in one tight hold, aware of its cold touch. He grimaced slowly and his face fell even more.

He was in no good use for her sake now, wasn't he?

Now that he closed his eyes slowly, he brought his body down to attach to hers; his strong arms slowly supported her limp body and soon he was spreading his warmth into her cold body and whispering sorry into her ear. He was holding her so carefully when the thought struck him down.

He was hugging her right now, wasn't he?

He was motionless for a while as his brain started to work everything's out, and after sometime of pondering silently, he seemed to grasp something he had mistaken for quite a long time.

That embrace was not just a meaningless act. That embrace was not just another way to represent his utmost gratitude.

That now embrace he shared with her was a proof of affection and emotions involved. And by he was capable to embrace someone; he was not a puppet and emotionless boy after all.

Therefore, he just sighed contentedly and continuing to hold her in his arms

Because, he didn't mind at all.

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End file.
